We went to court today. Pat didn't want to go, he was afraid of how it would affect me. I've come so far with my swallowing. But I knew I had to go, I needed to see Rob again. I needed to be able to look him straight into the eyes and let him know that I'm still standing. That he hasn't done me in (yet anyway)! He only gave us eye contact for a few seconds, Im just hoping that he could see into my soul when he looked into my eyes. That he knew that I KNOW what he put my child thru and that I will no longer tolerate any hurt or pain he may think he can cause us. He got off with a gentle slap on the wrist. Thirty months probation. He has to serve his probation in Maryland, because that is where he said he will be living. Living in Maryland and working in Va. I have to wonder who would hire him with his previous working record? He's been fired from every job he's had due to his drinking or attitude. He pled guilty to all three counts of cyberstalking and to all his traffic violations. He has to have DNA testing (don't know what that's about), and random drug and alcohol checks. He is to have no contact with any of us or anyone in our family! If he does, he should get a year in the pen. I'm not so sure I believe this. I have lost faith in our justice system. When the state attorney was reading off (to the judge) some of the psychiotic death threat emails rob has sent us in the past, the judge (Michael Cook) didn't appear to be paying any attention whatsoever, he looked like he was looking for something under his desk. We were told that he goes easy on first time offenders. I wonder how easy he would go if it were his family or his daughter who was put thru all we've been thru? It did make me feel good, I'm sorry, but it did...to see rob in his orange jumpsuit and shakeled. And it made me even feel even better to hear him plead guilty and have to say "yes SIR" to the judge. He's always thought he was above the law, he's never shown respect to anyone in his life. This time he did! After his hearing, Pat and I went to eat at IHOP. Came home and I went out to our garage where I practiced cocking and aiming our shotgun! Still have not shot it with ammo in it, but we'll load it up the day rob gets out of jail. It will be in a safe place, locked away, but ready to use should rob come to our door. He has taken so much from us. He's hurt our daughter in a way that no one should ever have to endure. He's hurt me and our other children and Pat. He seems to have no conscience. My psychiatrist thinks he's a sociopath. He makes his way thru life stepping on whoever gets in his way, he hurts people, and he only thinks of hiself. I'm still praying that I will find it in my heart to be able to forgive him again. I know the Lord has forgiven me more times then I can count, and I have to believe that rob is a child of Gods even though he doesnt act like it. His dad is arranging for his travel pay to get to Va. I am glad that his dad is in touch with him again. He needs someone to show they care about him and it sure cannot be me right now. I talked to Ally and Kate today. My two pregnant girls! And Christie is coming over with Chloe tomorrow. She's going to clean house for us. We made a deal, we'll pay her to clean every other week. Thank you Lord for our daughters, for our son, for loving us in spite of our sins. Please help me to be able to let go of the anger I feel toward rob. Help me to be able to forgive him and not fear him because I know You are with me always!